I can’t take these feelings of insecurity any longer. I’m not afraid to be single, I know I wouldn’t have a problem dating, I was just hoping we could’ve had it all, great relationship and great sex. I’m definitely not looking for a friend, I want a lover!
He knows this. He is going to have to step up and be a man or I will step out. Thank you for writing FYI it really helped me to identify with these issues

Oh you sound like me, “The relationship would be perfect if we just had sex”. It seems so petty when you hear yourself say it but really, sex is HUGE..a HUGE part of a relationship. Like I said, without it- you’ve just got a great friendship. I know how insecure you are feeling. I mean, we are conditioned to think that all men want is sex and they want it 24/7, when they don’t make moves on us we start to wonder what is wrong with the relationship and/or what is wrong with us. I got tired of pointing the finger at myself. Every single relationship I have been in involved my partner chasing me down the hall with his naked weenie. Sometimes I used to think, “Damn, I wish he didn’t want sex all the time”..now I’m thinking, “Damn, I wish he would want sex”..are we ever happy? Life is about balance, while I’m not looking for a Bang Marathon, I would like to at least have my vagina satisfied. I’m good with twice a week, I can NOT go three weeks without sex…when three weeks past I turn into a beast and start humping furniture. You, my dear, are missing out. It could possibly be that he has a low sex drive..but it could be a number of things. It’s important to sit down and be like “This is what’s up”…”This is what’s going to HAVE to happen or else”…”We need a solution”. I’m not trying to be rude (yes, I am) but he SHOULD feel less of a man. Pfft. How dare he turn his nose up at your sweet, sweet vagina? Do you know how many other peni in the world would like to swoop that vagina away from him? He’s comfortable. He hasn’t been given an ultimatum. He could probably go the rest of his life this way. Well, there isn’t enough plastic in the world to make me content for a lifetime, not enough dildos, vibrators, butt plugs, blow up dolls, NOTHING. It’s about passion. Women want passionate relationships and they want passionate sex. No sex in a relationship sucks the passion out of the relationship completely. Hell, the purk to having a relationship is that you have a full-time bang buddy. Get your purks girl and like I said, no worries…because if he won’t bang you….. 1.25 milllion other dudes will!

My guy has a huge ego and while he won’t admit he’d rather rub one off to porn then to have sex with me, he does admit something isn’t quite right. I have a feeling he may feel less of a man for not being able to close the deal in bed.
I am going to give it the old college try this weekend and seduce him. If the only sparks that fly are from the fireworks on the 4th then I’ll be convinced this wasn’t meant to be.

I can’t take these feelings of insecurity any longer. I’m not afraid to be single, I know I wouldn’t have a problem dating, I was just hoping we could’ve had it all, great relationship and great sex. I’m definitely not looking for a friend, I want a lover!
He knows this. He is going to have to step up and be a man or I will step out. Thank you for writing FYI it really helped me to identify with these issues! I

Wowzers. Are you planning on marrying this dude? I always heard not to date someone over two years if you wanted a committment (marriage). Who knows, some people date for ten years and get married but most of the time if they haven’t proposed by two/three years…they probably aren’t. Do not for ONE second think that this is about you, this is about HIM and his limp noodle. Maybe he has penis problems. Doesn’t he watch a lot of porn? I think I told you that sometimes men can watch so much porn (hardcore xxx porn) that when they go to have sex, it doesn’t really do anything for him. You are being denied, my friend. How can the two of you meet on that deeper level if ya’ll aren’t intimate together? I don’t think he is cheating on you, hell, he probably couldn’t get it up to cheat from what it sounds like. I would def. confront him about this and tell him that something needs to change or else. You can only take so much of this until you are going to start thinking about other peni.

Dump him and move on! It’s not going to get better so why are you wasting your precious life and sexuality on a guy who doesn’t “get” it? Life is to damn short.

It’s a process of learning and of letting go of what’s not working for you. By hanging in there and being miserable you are doing no one, least of all your self, any favors.

You know all those movies you run in your mind of when things were great in the beginning? Shrink them way down, fade them out and bring up big and bright the movies in your mind of how freaking miserable you are.

Keep playing the miserable movies long enough and big enough and enough times to get over him, get rid of him and get on with the adventure of becoming the kind of woman who a man can’t resist…

I spent 13 years in abject sexual frustration. the first year of marriage was totally touchless! I can’t tell you how many times I just wanted to drown myself in the river.

Finally I left. It hasn’t always been easy but the price was worth it.

My heart truly goes out to you and at the same time you’ve got to stop wishing it’s going to get better. Go for what you want.

No settling in this area. I mean it.

Call me Queen if you need support with this. okay?

Mark Shepard
http://ModernJedi.com

Holy Pickle! I thought I had it bad. Five years? That’s A LOT of masterbating! What are you getting out of the relationship? It sounds as if ya’ll are married. Man, if you aren’t getting any now, you def. won’t get any after the wedding bells. You have to decide if this is something you can live with. I mean, he might be the best guy in the world but if there is no sex that’s a serious deal breaker. There could be a number of things going on 1)low sex drive 2)too much porn 3)cheating 4)stress 5)not turned on/in the mood. But geezers, five years? I can’t tell you how much sex I’ve had in the last five years…you deserve so much more than this. You should have him wanting to ‘knock the dust off of your boots’ all the time. There is a huge void in a relationship when there is no sex. We need sex to feel connected to our men, we NEED THE PENIS, DAMMIT! Girl, I would tell him to get rid of the porn, see a Dr. for low libido, quit cheating, turn on the heat or GET OUT THE F*CKING KITCHEN!