The Queen of Relationships

Oh dear Betsy, I wrote an entire post last night and now it’s gone buh-bye. For the love of God, why? Oh well, it was on the topic of being a “cool” girl/chic/woman. Did you know that men totally dig a cool chic? If you are not from my generation, please replace the word cool with hip, jive, or groovy. So, imagine guys in the locker room or in the break room at work, Bob is dating a new girl named Sally. Bob’s friend asks what’s up with him and Sally. Bob replies, “She’s a cool chic”. Now, for those of you that don’t know, “cool” is code for something more. What Bob is actually saying is “I am interested in Sally and I really like her”. Of course, us women want to hear that we are ‘the woman of their dreams’, ‘their bitch in shining armour’, or ‘ the girl they can’t live without’ …no, none of that…all we get is ‘cool’, like Rico Suave.

If a man has ever called you a ‘cool’ chic, take this as a compliment. Men seemingly separate women and cool chicks. Please bare with me. Most men are scared crapless by the epitome of a woman. What is the general stereotype of a woman? Well, aren’t all women needy, clingy, demanding, jealous, high maintenance, whiny, bitchy, insecure..did I miss any? Of course, all women aren’t like this but men seem to think that most women are. When a man stumbles across a ‘cool’ woman, it’s like a diamond in the rough. Most every man wants to find that ‘cool’ chic but he’s got to weed through all the ‘women’ to find her.Granted, we are all flawed and even the ‘cool’ chic has her own issues but it’s the way she handles the situations /issues that set her apart from the pack.

‘Cool’ chicks is in total control of her self, emotions communication and behavior in all situations. She has a great attitude, an awesome self-image, a high confidence level, great personality and is extremely emotionally mature. ‘Cool’ chicks set positive emotional tones with men that somehow creates a positive mood within the man. ‘Cool’ chicks create an atmosphere that men are totally drawn to.These ‘cool’ chicks, it’s like they are born naturals. There’s something that we can all learn from the ’cool’ chicks and it’s all about knowing and learning how to respond to men the RIGHT way.

How To Be A Cool Chic

1) Living Life:Cool chicks have lives. Yes, they have a life. They do not sit around and wait on a man. They do not revolve their life around one single man. They are involved in their own activities with their own friends. They do not pout when their man wants to spend time with the guys, she only sees this as an opportunity to catch up with the girls. A man is just a part of her life, her life is not the man.

2)Funny Ha Ha:Cool chicks have great personalities and know how to bring the humor. They keep a positive outlook on all things in life. They are great at turning a negative into a positive. They are great about looking at the glass half full instead of half empty. They enjoy making you laugh and get a kick out of joking around and being playful.

3)Not Controlling:A cool chic is confident enough with herself to allow the man to take the lead. She doesn’t feel the need to control every aspect of the relationship. Cool chicks are more likely to go with the flow. Don’t misunderstand though, they are not afraid to speak up and make assertions when they have opinions and ideas.

4)Socially Gifted:Cool chicks have no trouble being social. Men are not afraid to take a cool chic out in public because there is no worry about how she is going to act or respond to others. She is never nervous nor does she have anxiety in a social setting.

5)No Whining: You will never hear a cool chic complaining or whining. They aren’t naggers and do not complain about issues that are impossible for anyone to solve.

6)Validation? I think not:Cool chicks do not beg or ask for validation from a man. She does not need validation from a man to feel secure in a relationship. She does not need validation for her emotions and ideas. She is confident enough to know that he likes her and doesn’t need for him to remind her every second, hour, day, week or month.

7)Totally Honest:Cool chicks are upfront and honest. They do not speak in woman “code” and they do not talk about things in a round about way. They speak their mind without confusing their partner. They know that men can’t read minds so they don’t even go there.

8)Confidence? I think so:Cool chicks do not dis on themselves. They do not whine to a man how big their thighs are or how they ate too many calories for lunch. They know that the way they feel and talk about themselves is how men will feel about them. They also do not feel the need to talk bad about other women. Of course, cool chicks are women so they do get jealous from time to time, they just don’t show it.

9)No Manipulation or Guilt:Cool chicks do not use manipulation or guilt to get what they want. They never have hidden agendas. They do not try to play mind games and make men feel guilty for not giving them what they want or think they need. They have no problem with keeping it real.

10)Asking : When a cool chic needs help with something they ask for it in  a simple, non-controlling way. They ask for help by communicating about it in a positive way, which means they keep their own emotional agendas at bay.

11)Leaving The Past In The Past:Cool chicks do not throw the past up in a man’s face. If she is in a dispute with a man, she lives in the present. She doesn’t talk about how he stood her up ten years ago on the first date. They do not bring up bad situations from the past unless it is 101% necessary.

12)Forcing Feelings:Cool chicks do not force a man to talk about his feelings. She knows that this is one thing guys hate. Cool chicks know that most men will assume that she is needy if she is constantly poking at him to get emotional with her. The last question that comes out of the cool chick’s mouth is, “So, what are you feeling right now?”.

13)Knowing When To Shut Up:Cool chicks know when to shut up. They know when to bite their tongue. They don’t feel the need to talk about every single thought that they have. If they do voice a thought, they make sure that it has somewhat of a positive spin on it. So, instead of coming across as bitching, it looks a little more like intelligent conversation.

14)No Minimized Feelings:Cool chicks do not minimize their feelings. If they are really upset about something, they tell it like it is. They don’t try to down play it or over exaggerate. They don’t play games by saying “I’m fine” when everything is not. When they do express their feelings, they take time to think about what they are going to say and implement great communication skills.

15) No Basket Case:Cool chicks are extremely emotionally stable. They do not cry at the drop of a hat and they do not get bent out of shape easily. They know that men do not know how to handle a woman crying so they try to stay clear of it unless it is totally necessary, hey sometimes you can’t help your feelings. They are more likely to cry to their girlfriends than their boyfriends.

I know, do cool chicks even exist? Mmm, I think they do. I have a few friends that are married to cool chicks. Hell, if I ever wanted to be a cool chic…I would definitely need hours of therapy before I could even think about reaching the “cool chic” status. I’m just saying. I think all of us have a little coolness in our blood.