Comments on: Setting The Tone In Your Relationship http://queenofrelationships.com/setting-the-tone-in-your-relationship/ Because Love Just Isn't That Simple Sat, 04 Sep 2010 03:41:10 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.2 hourly 1 By: “Watch Your Mouth…” | Alphanista™ http://queenofrelationships.com/setting-the-tone-in-your-relationship/comment-page-1/#comment-663 “Watch Your Mouth…” | Alphanista™ Tue, 09 Jun 2009 15:02:38 +0000 http://queenofrelationships.com/?p=381#comment-663 [...] on a relationship blog the other day, and she gave some great examples I’d like to use here.  Here’s was more [...] [...] on a relationship blog the other day, and she gave some great examples I’d like to use here.  Here’s was more [...]

]]> By: Darlene Jeter http://queenofrelationships.com/setting-the-tone-in-your-relationship/comment-page-1/#comment-606 Darlene Jeter Wed, 20 May 2009 01:47:30 +0000 http://queenofrelationships.com/?p=381#comment-606 So many different tones for Please, wash the dishes. What is so funny is I know exactly what you mean!!! LOLOLOL So many different tones for Please, wash the dishes. What is so funny is I know exactly what you mean!!! LOLOLOL

]]> By: Tina t http://queenofrelationships.com/setting-the-tone-in-your-relationship/comment-page-1/#comment-604 Tina t Tue, 19 May 2009 00:08:59 +0000 http://queenofrelationships.com/?p=381#comment-604 I agree about the tone, which I have to be very careful of because I can slip into a condescending tone at the drop of a hat without always realizing it. My husband and I get along so well because he has no problem saying "what's with the tone" before I barely get 2 words out of my mouth in my "attitude voice." Of course I'll give myself credit for being able to take criticism and learn from it by the time I get to word 3. I agree about the tone, which I have to be very careful of because I can slip into a condescending tone at the drop of a hat without always realizing it. My husband and I get along so well because he has no problem saying “what’s with the tone” before I barely get 2 words out of my mouth in my “attitude voice.” Of course I’ll give myself credit for being able to take criticism and learn from it by the time I get to word 3.

]]> By: Rev. Anne Presuel http://queenofrelationships.com/setting-the-tone-in-your-relationship/comment-page-1/#comment-600 Rev. Anne Presuel Mon, 18 May 2009 11:46:06 +0000 http://queenofrelationships.com/?p=381#comment-600 By the way, your last point in your blog is well-said. Watch how you speak to one another. And a great question, Nelia. I think that our tone of voice definitely reflects our authenticity - who we are underneath it all. Warmly, Rev. Anne Presuel http://www.ThinkitBeitSeeit.com By the way, your last point in your blog is well-said. Watch how you speak to one another. And a great question, Nelia. I think that our tone of voice definitely reflects our authenticity – who we are underneath it all.

Warmly,

Rev. Anne Presuel
http://www.ThinkitBeitSeeit.com

]]> By: Rev. Anne Presuel http://queenofrelationships.com/setting-the-tone-in-your-relationship/comment-page-1/#comment-599 Rev. Anne Presuel Mon, 18 May 2009 11:43:07 +0000 http://queenofrelationships.com/?p=381#comment-599 Hi, Queen - From one auditory person to another, I know exactly what you're saying. And I wholeheartedly agree with Mark here on the negative auditory anchors. When I'm triggered, I know it's my "stuff," my baggage, my old unprocessed hurts, my crap. And since my own peace of mind has been disturbed, it is now up to me to soothe the pain. I haven't studied NLP, but have heard MUCH wonderfulness about it. Good stuff, that. For me, EFT (the Emotional Freedom Technique) has been a lifesaver, because I was able to heal ever so much stuff from relationships in my own life. Because I'm so auditory, I still have to watch myself carefully about how I take things. The blessing of being an auditory person is that I can hear nuances of things, which makes me a very good counselor and teacher. So, as with all things, it is a blessing and a curse. :-) Keep up the great blogs! Your auditoriness is what also makes you a terrific writer, doncha know?! Hi, Queen –

From one auditory person to another, I know exactly what you’re saying. And I wholeheartedly agree with Mark here on the negative auditory anchors.

When I’m triggered, I know it’s my “stuff,” my baggage, my old unprocessed hurts, my crap. And since my own peace of mind has been disturbed, it is now up to me to soothe the pain.

I haven’t studied NLP, but have heard MUCH wonderfulness about it. Good stuff, that. For me, EFT (the Emotional Freedom Technique) has been a lifesaver, because I was able to heal ever so much stuff from relationships in my own life.

Because I’m so auditory, I still have to watch myself carefully about how I take things. The blessing of being an auditory person is that I can hear nuances of things, which makes me a very good counselor and teacher. So, as with all things, it is a blessing and a curse. :-)

Keep up the great blogs! Your auditoriness is what also makes you a terrific writer, doncha know?!

]]> By: Mark http://queenofrelationships.com/setting-the-tone-in-your-relationship/comment-page-1/#comment-598 Mark Mon, 18 May 2009 00:52:24 +0000 http://queenofrelationships.com/?p=381#comment-598 Hey Queen, You are getting awfully close to what we in NLP call "Negative Auditory Anchors" The tone acts as an emotional trigger that runs a certain automatic path in your neurology. The challenge is that you can't control their tone but you can neutralize your own triggers or "anchors" so that the old stimulus doesn't create the old response. Bottom line? What would happen if you didn't have so much of your own crap come up so that you could have a clear channel to see if your partner was speaking to you from their own place of crap. What if nothing your lover did or said could wound or hurt you? (and not because you were hiding behind a wall of numbness but because you had neutralized all the years of negative anchors? anyway. I'm alive today to say it's possible (at least a lot of the time). (no body's perfect :o) Mark Shepard http://ModernJedi.com Hey Queen,

You are getting awfully close to what we in NLP call “Negative Auditory Anchors” The tone acts as an emotional trigger that runs a certain automatic path in your neurology.

The challenge is that you can’t control their tone but you can neutralize your own triggers or “anchors” so that the old stimulus doesn’t create the old response.

Bottom line? What would happen if you didn’t have so much of your own crap come up so that you could have a clear channel to see if your partner was speaking to you from their own place of crap.

What if nothing your lover did or said could wound or hurt you? (and not because you were hiding behind a wall of numbness but because you had neutralized all the years of negative anchors?

anyway. I’m alive today to say it’s possible (at least a lot of the time). (no body’s perfect :o )

Mark Shepard
http://ModernJedi.com

]]> By: Nelia http://queenofrelationships.com/setting-the-tone-in-your-relationship/comment-page-1/#comment-595 Nelia Sun, 17 May 2009 21:01:50 +0000 http://queenofrelationships.com/?p=381#comment-595 Hey. Watch your tone. Ebony and Ivory is a really good song. Question for the Queen : Do you think it's really possible to revise the tone without revising the underlying attitude? I think accomplishing the right voice tone is all about authenticity... Hey. Watch your tone. Ebony and Ivory is a really good song.

Question for the Queen : Do you think it’s really possible to revise the tone without revising the underlying attitude? I think accomplishing the right voice tone is all about authenticity…

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