The Queen of Relationships

You’ve all heard of it and most of us have lived it or are living it. It’s baby mama drama. Yeah, life sucks when things don’t work out and the two of you split. You are left with this precious child and a great deal of resentment. Why didn’t he try harder? Why did he have to leave? Why did he cheat? Why was I so stubborn? Why, What if, Maybe this- hey, it just didn’t work.

There’s nothing worse than breaking up with someone and having to deal with them for 18 more years. Kinda makes you wanna think twice before you sleep with someone. That’s my rule of thumb- don’t sleep with someone unless you can see yourself married to them with kids, because you’re just THAT close to it. I get so sick of hearing about “baby mama drama”, what about baby daddy petty drama? Nah, you’ll never hear about it. It’s always us girls with the crazy, hormonal, psycho outbursts that put the drama in baby mama drama.

It’s hard giving up your child for a certain amount of time b/c things didn’t “work” out. Children should never have to go through being without either parent. But, it’s just the way of life these days. People want the easy way out and the easy way for them ends up being the hardest way for the children. Yes, I know “It’s better to have two happy families than one miserable one, right“. I can’t comment on that unless I know the situation. In most cases, people don’t fight for it they just give up.

Popular Ways To Cause Baby Mama Drama

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• Start petty fights that have nothing to do with the children.
• Bitch about how he never gives back the child’s clothing that you bought.
• Call him a worthless son of a no good father.
• Key “dead beat” into his vehicle.
• Tell your children that their fathers is worthless.
• Roll your eyes every time you see him.
• Don’t communicate to him, do it through the children.
• Tell his new girlfriend he has herpes and that his Valtrex prescription is ready for pick up.
• Slash his tires.
• Don’t let him see the children.
• Bring him up in every conversation about how he’s no good for you and the children.
• Tell everyone he is gay.
• Move out of state and don’t tell him.
• Take him to court every single chance you get.
• Tell him he was bad in bed.
• Always be late when picking up your children.
• Don’t be home when he comes to pick up the children.

So, if you are wanting to cause “Baby Mama Drama“, this is a great starter list. If you want to live a hectic life that is unpeaceful and full of conflict then follow this list to the “T”. But, you probably aren’t looking for ways to be that ‘mama’. You are probably wanting things to die down and to be peaceful. It’s hard to believe but in time, they will. It takes being mature ( I know, I hate to say it) and putting your own personal feelings aside to deal with someone you use to love but now hate.

It’s all about being the bigger person, not only for you but for yourself. Constantly being in conflict will continue to keep the wound open. You will never be able to heal from this crazy relationship if you lash out and vent to the one you blame. It sucks, I know. Life. It’s life. The first few years are very hard to adapt. With time and dedication, things will fall into place and you’ll be in a spot in your life where things aren’t so chaotic. Here is a list of things you can do to keep the drama out of the ‘baby mama drama’

How To Take The Drama Out Of BABY MAMA DRAMA

Don’t Be Consumed- Do not be consumed with this situation or this relationship. There is no longer a relationship. It’s over. The longer you bitch and hang on, the longer it’s going to hurt. Believe me, he’s moved on and you should to. It never really was, it isn’t and it won’t be.

Don’t Act Belligerent- Don’t act belligerent around the new victim girlfriend. I know you want to knock her teeth out, but it’s really not her fault. I would just say ‘good luck’. Plus, this will be the woman that is going to be around your child.

Don’t Talk Trash- Don’t talk unpleasant trash in front of your children about their father. Yes, it probably feels good for a brief moment but eventually you will feel bad about it. Realize what kind of impact this might have on your children. It will probably backfire and have them resenting you.

Pick Your Battles- You really need to pick your battles wisely. Don’t fight about something just because you hate him. You really need to think about the issue and figure out if it’s really worth getting into with him about it. Believe me, less is more.

Kill’em With Kindness- I really don’t care if you are a hot mess on the verge of a mental break down, don’t show it. He’s the last person you want knowing you are a mess. Go along as if things are fine because even if they weren’t,he probably wouldn’t care. You have to take care of yourself now. He is no longer a part of your life. Kill him with kindness and go on about your day as if all things are great. Please hold back the tears until you are away from him.

Don’t Attack- Never attack his position as a father. This is probably one of the worst things you could do and say. Remember, this is the father of your children. Even though you are even seeing him, this probably means he is picking up the children. Think of all the dead beat dads out there that want nothing to do with their children. He might be a sore loser as far as a spouse goes but never go in the direction of bashing him as a father.

Short Talk- All conversation should be strictly about the children. There’s really no need for any other sort of discussion. Don’t continue to re-hash old thoughts or feelings. Remember, it’s over- it’s about the children. I know, it’s okay to think “well, what about me?”. You are human. To keep the peace, strike out personal conversation.

Returning Calls- Now isn’t the time to play head games. “Oh, I’m not going to call him back”. You can’t do that anymore, it might be a serious call about your child. Make sure you return all calls in a timely manner.

Best Interest Of Child- Well, now it’s all about the child. It went from being about you and him to your child. This is a very hard transition. It’s hard for hear him say he doesn’t want to talk about anything but your child because you are still there. You have feelings. 9 times out of 10, he really doesn’t care. All things should now be for the best interest of the child, not ‘your’ best interest. You have to be selfless. If you still have feelings for him, it’s normal to feel a little jealous that your child gets to spend so much time with him and he doesn’t even want you.

Keep In Contact- Be sure to keep in contact about all information regarding medical, school and personal issues having to do with your child. If you have joint custody, then it is required by law to inform the other parent what is going on. Sometimes it’s hard to remember that you have to report to someone else because they are no longer around and it’s basically ‘out of sight, out of mind’.

Clothing- This is probably the most aggravating and the most common. What is so hard about giving the clothes back that your child wore to go to his Dad’s? Why can’t he tell the difference between the clothes that he bought and the clothes that you bought? I think it’s a man thing. Try to always be persistent about giving the clothes back of his and tell him to do the same.

Step Mom- Go ahead and get ready for this. Read books, journal, vent, cry, scream and then eat ice cream. Eventually, it’s going to happen. Someone else is going to be mothering your children. In certain cases, we always hope that the next girl he picks is psycho and neurotic but …in this case, not a good idea. This will be the person around your children and you better pray that she is easy to get along with and is nurturing.

Take a deep breathe. It’s going to be okay. It’s not the end of the world. It’s just a stupid curve ball from that thing called life. Things will and do get better. Never wish bad things on him. Wish him all the happiest and you’re more likely to get the same. There’s actually a website called “Baby Mama Drama”, so…just know that you are not alone- hell, there’s a million baby mama’s out there but… just be sure to save the drama for yo mamma!