Dammit, it’s raining outside. What a perfect world it would be if wind and rain drops were penis and scrotums. “Oh look honey, it’s raining dicks and balls again”. Warning: deep thought coming in 3…2…1… If a scrotum falls from the sky, does it bounce?
Speaking of scrotum, I’m always reading books, blogs or finding questions regarding ‘how to get the guy’. I’m not just talking about the scrotum you just met at AA that you are really crushing on. Nope, I’m talking about anything and everything that is filed under the topic of “getting the scrotum guy”. Yeah, it could be a dude you just met at Starbucks, it could be a guy that you’ve been dating for months but feel as if he’s lost that loving feeling, it could be your ex-boyfriend that you want to stalk get back, it could be a dude that you are currently ‘just dating’ who is also ‘just dating’ other women, etc.
So, what’s the magic formula…
Well, for three installments of $29.95, you can join the thousands of other women that have been initiated into the MMPPF!<——-(aka My Magic Potion Posse, Fool!) I know this shit works because not only am I a part of the potion posse, but I’m also the potion president. Okay, not really…well, sort of.
Here’s a quick news flash: there is no magic potion to get a guy but feel free to still send the dough, mamma needs her hair did.
The magic potion for getting the guy….
I wrote a post awhile back about “How To Get Your Ex Back”…I know what you’re thinking, why did I just waste your time with complete bullshit if there is potion? Well, I’ve got a little bit of magic (regarding getting the guy) but it’s nothing special…just my two cents. Two cents isn’t shit but if you know how to manage the two cents, you just might possibly be one, wealthy, mother fu-hush your mouth. What I am about to tell you, you already know and you probably do it all the time but doing it to the right person, at the right time, using the force (Luke)…just might get you the guy. Shut up and spit it out. Why, I think I will.
Okay, here it goes:
Ignore them.
Yep, that’s pretty much it. If you want to get the guy, there’s no reason to do flips in the air to get his attention, no need to spread your legs and put another pointless notch in your belt, no reason to sit by the phone waiting for him to call, no reason to text him 24/7 pushing him to think you are a psycho, needy nut-hole…yes, ignorance is bliss and you should blissfully ignore the dude. Don’t freak out just yet.
Ignore them.
Okay, maybe “ignoring” is a strong term. I’m not encouraging you to play hard to get, 100%. I’m just encouraging 20%. There is a fine line between playing hard to get and ignoring someone. Maybe the ‘ignore’ term is inappropriate but I do not like the catch phrase, “playing hard to get”. Men will tell you that if you play hard to get, they will soon lose interest and move onto the next floozy. This is true. This is about balance. It’s more less some sort of push and pull technique.
This is not implying that you string him along, stringing someone along implies that you aren’t really interested. If you are interested in someone and you want to keep him interested in you, there needs to be a bit of a challenge. Men love a challenge and honestly, if most don’t have to work for it…it’s easy for them to get bored. Hell, I get bored if catching a guy is too easy. I don’t like to be chased because it freaks me out. Of course, not all women are like this but I was born with an extra ball and a man nipple.
I don’t want to hear about how you don’t want to play games. This “is”dating, this is the ‘dating game’. There will always be some sort of mental battle going on in the midst of dating someone, it’s just how it is.
Here are some ways you can pleasantly ‘ignore’ the ones you are interested in, trying to get back or trying to get to commit.
1) Get a life: Hello. If a guy picks up on the fact that your world is revolving around him, he will be turned off and it might be somewhat difficult to turn him back on. What attracts most men to us when the meet us is the fact that we have our own life, our own friends, our own hobbies, activities, work, and so on.
Why is it that when we get in a relationship, we let all the important things fall by the waist side? Don’t do this. Stay involved. Do not quit doing things that you enjoy because you found someone you like. Boys come and go but you will always have a life to lead, so live it.
2) Availability: Please do not be 100% available. Do not drop your plans every single time the dude wants to do something. He needs to know that there are other things that are important in your life. Don’t allow him to think that he comes first. Tell him to take a number and get in line (okay, don’t say that out loud). Being too available is a no no. I know it hurts but make an attempt to tell him you have plans a few times, instead of going out with him. Trust me, people want what they think they can’t have. Don’t allow him to think that you have blocked your schedule off just for him.
3) Communication: Please do not answer the phone on the first ring when he calls. Hello, you don’t want him to think you are desperado. If he calls you, let the answering machine get it and don’t call him right back. You should wait a decent amount of time before you call him back. Be sure that it’s not two days later though, it needs to be the same day because then he will assume you are not interested and you might lose him.
4) No Nooky: The quickest way to lose a man’s interest is to sleep with him too soon. Most of the time, if you sleep with a man too soon…it is almost certain that you will lose the battle. Don’t be surprised if he tries to get the nooky, he’s a man…so he’s going to try but this doesn’t mean that you have to give in. Be strong, grasshopper. Sometimes guys will test you to see how far you will go. It seems to be a win-win situation for him. If you give him booty, he gets laid…if you don’t give him booty, he knows he has his hands on something special.
If you are dealing with an ex that you want back, the #1 rule is “No Contact”. I don’t care if you swallowed a rock and are choking (well, sort of)…No Contact. If you want to get our ex back, the worst thing you can do is come across as needy, clingy, desperate, and pathetic. This only works if the ex broke up with you. They obviously broke up with you for a reason and by you constantly communicating with them, this will be a constant reminder of why they broke up with you.
Give them the space they need. Give them a chance to miss you. Give them a chance to think. The most important thing is that you start moving on with your life, getting involved with things and learning how to enjoy life without your ex. There are two things that can happen: they will either come back to you or they won’t. You might as well move forward with your life and leave them alone until they come to their senses. There is probably nothing you can say or do to change their mind but you risk the chance of aggravating them even more. So, I say “no contact” and live your life. If they come to their senses, it will be by their own doing and not by you saying some sort of magic word or phrase.
Again, there is a fine line between totally snooding someone and living your life. You need to find the balance. If you ignore them 100%, they will assume you are not interested. Then again, if you come across as ‘too’ interested…they won’t get the challenge, will get bored and might look for something that will make them work for it.
i love your blogs,this i really needed cos ive been planning on getting back with my ex
Trust me, keeping your distance and finding other things to do will make a world of difference. He will notice that you are not hung up on him and he’ll start wondering what’s up, then the tables will turn and….these…are the days of our lives.
Alot of truth in it…..
“there is no magic potion to get a guy but feel free to still send the dough, mamma needs her hair did.”
Hahaha here here. This made me laugh, so glad i stumbled upon your blog. Treat em mean keep em keen that’s what i say.
Yay! I’m so glad you stopped by. I’ll be checking your blog out, for sure!
Your welcome. My blog is quite new so any advice you have would be greatly appreciated. Keep up the great posts!
Alice- I’ve subscribed to you blog and actually read your post but for some reason, it doesn’t offer me an option to post a comment. I tried to sign up for an account and it kicked me off, twice. Have you considered using WordPress? People will be more likely to read if they don’t have to sign up for an account and they can comment anonymously or comment with other accounts that are more popular. Of course, I didn’t mind signing up but I couldn’t get it to work for some reason.
Hi thanks for stopping by on my blog and subscribing. I didnt know there was a problem with my comment section, i made sure i ticked the box so that anyone can comment even anonymously. Did you click on the word comment under the four small square pictures underneath each post? it usually says 0 comments or 1 comment i think you just click that. So sorry that your having difficulties. I have considered a wordpress but i was going to wait to see if people liked my blog before i hosted my own site. If you have a google account i think you can follow my blog through that. Hope this helps. Thanks again for reading my post. I have subscribed to your blog also.
Alternatively if you click on the title of the post and then scroll down the page there should be a comment box underneath. Let me know if none of these suggestions work and ill start a mini investigation into my comment section.
Why no magic potion?…If you make it, they will buy…LOL. I had to come by your place and I must say, I am totally and completely impressed…
I admit, I usually ignore, but not on purpose…I really do have a lot of shit to do. Recently, while I was being so busy, I stopped for a moment remembered that it had been a while since I got some…so I gave in and broke a rule and gave up the nookie, but I have needs…OK?…Don’t Judge ME!
Jazz- I feel honored that you stopped by and blessed me.
I can’t believe you broke the rule and gave up the nookie, don’t worry- I do the same damn thing. My blog should be called “Do as I say, Not as I do”. lol I know exactly what I should do but sometimes my vagina overrides this and personally, making my vagina mad is the last thing I want to do…she’s a real bitch.
I love your website! As I even think about writing this I feel so ‘desperado’ lol!! My boyfriend and I broke up a few months ago and we kept in contact and stayed ‘together’ so to speak with actually saying we were ‘together’. I found out a few weeks ago that he was also seeing his ‘ex from high school’ these past couple of months and she is an UGLY.. 250 lbs 5 foot 6 just nasty to look at. I am 5′5 120, blonde and attractive and a kind honest person. I am in a state of shock. I don’t know what to do. He says he wants things to work with me and that this girl was just a comfort to him (there were some issues going on with his ex-wife) as they’ve know eachother for 20 years. but she keeps calling him!! HELP me what do I do. I love this guy with all my heart and I want to believe him. How do I ever trust him again???
Oh my goodness, this dude sounds like a bag-o-douche. Please don’t be in a state of shock, it happens to the best of us. If you haven’t read my post about “Why Men Cheat With Ugly Women”, you must read it! How do you ever trust him again? Good question. I’m sure somehow, someway he is justifying the “situation of the fatty” by telling you and himself that the relationship was not ‘defined’. Boy, what man wouldn’t love to have an ‘undefined’ relationship…no rules, no ‘defined’ commitment but with all the added perks. If you are like me, you just assumed that since the two of you were “together”, spending time with one another, having sex, going places…doing all the things that couples do…you assumed the obvious- that there wouldn’t and shouldn’t be anyone else.
You’re not alone on this one, I’ve been there just recently…there seemed to be so much chaos with a ‘defined relationship’ and for some reason, breaking up and then leaving the relationship wide open…it helped the relationship. Or did it? I sometimes wonder if the reason it was so chaotic to begin with was due to the actual “defined” commitment that goes along with a relationship. It’s no wonder things seemed so much better after the break up and being reunited again because there are no labels, no rules, no expectations and no mention of his balls being cut off if he were to think about being with someone else. In these sort of situations, we set ourselves up for disappointment. We assume that since we love them and do not want to be with anyone else, that they are thinking the same. This is not always the case. The ‘undefined’ relationship is one to be concerned about, only because it’s an easy loop hole for justification and deception. “Oh well, I mean…we never said what we were”. “Oh, well, I thought we were broken up”. “Oh, I thought it was okay to see other people”.
What were his reasons? His excuse? Do you believe him? If you have a burning, fire feeling in your stomach that he is full of shit…go with the burn because most of the time we are right. After someone does something like this to us, it’s easy to forgive but it’s something we will never EVER forget and no matter how much we say “I trust you”, in the back of our mind…we question and continue to question and sometimes we will always question whether or not we can ever trust them again. But….why is she still calling? Has he not told her to leave him alone? Probably not. Trust me, if some dude told a girl to ‘leave me alone’, most girls are so embarrassed that they usually do. So, I would definitely question if there’s still something going on in the background. Of course, I can only go by the small tidbit of information you have given me but if I were you, I would go straight to the source and call the fatty.
as I type this and cry my eyes out (serious desperodo!!!) I have picked up the phone to call the fatty and hung up so many times. I feel so F*&*ing pathetic. Honestly!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! As soon as I speak to her she’ll be on the phone to him in 3 seconds. Problem here is we’re so intertwined.. i LOVE his son, his brothers, nieces and nephews etc. It’s so difficult to cut him out of my life… even though i can’t believe i’m letting a man do this to me!!!!
Have you ever heard of a guy holding back sex as some kind of sick emotional game? I am so insecure right now that I wonder if he’s enjoying it. I am pretty shy and don’t often intiate intimacy but tonight I did and he turned me down. He was ‘tierd’ and blah blah blah. I am so angry right now!!!!!!!!
Weeks ago He cried his eyes out to me when I ‘found out’ about the fatty and swears to me that it’s not ‘him’ he was just emotionally ‘messed’ up long story but I understand why this situation has been hard for him, but seriousy, come on! I’ve been standing by him through this situation thick and thin. Why does he have to turn to this disgustasourusrex????? GROSS!
His ex wife dumped him five years ago and i think he’s afraid to let himself truly fall in love with me. He’s holding a bit of himself back and keeping this ‘thing’ around gives him some sick confidence and a sense of security. Does this make sense?
I think we’re on the right track me and him but she calls still and he says its not often and its only because they are still ‘friends’. Whatever.
You ask if I have a sick sense of burning in my stomach.. I don’t know if i do or i don’t. I know she calls but I don’t think it’s more than that?? But how long till it is? I wonder if this feeling in my stomach is insecurity and maybe if I rise above it and act like I don’t care it will make things better?????
Do you still think I need to call the fatty? God I am so pathetic it’s truly sad lol!!!!!!!!!!
Honestly, after reading what you just said…there’s a chance that he might have told the “fatty” things that will allow her to stand so strong on his side, you might not break through to her and get any information out of her. For example, my ‘on again/off again’ ex was always doing shit behind my back, lying, nude photos..all that good stuff. I was in the dark about most of it so I thought I would take matters into my own hands. Keep in mind, I’m not the type to go psycho and call random people but I had had enough of it. I e-mailed a few and most of them never responded, another one basically took up for him. Say what? I find out later that this ‘hag’ (and she is a hag) thinks I’m psycho. I wanted to ram a broom up her ass. “I’m psycho because my boyfriend is asking for nude photos of you and your sending them to him…knowing good and well that he’s in a relationship?”. So, that led me to believe that he was filling all of their heads with garbage to keep us at a distance if (low and behold) our paths ever crossed. So, it didn’t and doesn’t matter what I say to anyone regarding him, they all write me off as being koo koo. The only one that holds the truth? The whores and him and I know he’s the last person that’s going to spill the beans.
With that being said, if it’s his “ex”…she probably feels that he is ‘her’ territory anyway. You know? She had him first so she probably just sees you as another girl he’s messing with, another relationship that probably won’t work out. Knowing more about the situation, I wouldn’t call her…or him, I would run. You are not pathetic. It seems as if he’s doing some jedi mind trick shit on you. Not having sex with you? Has he always been like this? Using sex as a weapon? Is sounds as if he’s witholding sex to control the situation. Isn’t it funny how not even a week or so ago, he was crying to you because he fucked up and now, now who’s crying? It’s you. He’s somehow twisted the situation, flipped it around making it to where you are eating out of his hand…when it should really be the opposite. He should be bowing to you and begging for forgiveness but he’s not. Why? Because what he’s doing right now, at this moment, is working just fine for him. First of all, I’m going to be honest…this doesn’t sound like a guy I would want to sleep with, be with, play with…nothing. Remember this feeling, because if it’s anything like my past situation…you will feel it again and again and again until eventually you go completely numb and you forget the miserable feeling but you also forget the good feeling…because there is no feeling, just numbness. You eventually will go numb in order to protect your soul from being tampered with.
This is the way I see it. There is nothing, nothing, and nothing you can do to change this boy. He’s a dick. He’s shown he’s a dick. He’ll probably always be a dick. There is nothing you can do to change him or fatty. The only thing that will change are the days and the situation…what you CAN change is how you react and respond to this. The more you feed in to the way he is treating you, the more he will do it and the more he will think he can get away with anything. The best thing and the hardest thing you can do is ignore him. Think about it, if he knows that you are always going to be there because you love him THAT much, if he knows you will always answer the phone, visit with him, and so forth…why would he change his tone? Things are probably just the way he wants them right now, up in the air and undefined. You need to define it for him and ignore him completely. There’s probably no amount of crying, begging, pleading you can do that will make him flinch. Ignoring him? This will get his attention. But, the real issue here is the fact that you are wanting to settle for this douche. Ignoring him will get his attention but I’m sure once he figures you are going to stay put, he will go back to the nonsense, then you re-ignore, then he snaps back, then reverts, then you re-ignore…and it goes on and on and on. It’s a vicious cycle, like chasing your tale. It’s a great way to waste time and your life.
Girl, his ex wife dumped him FIVE YEARS AGO. No, he’s not afraid to let himself truly fall in love. While I’m sure people grieve in certain ways at the loss of a marriage, seriously? Five years? That’s what I thought about my ex, he was just hurt, he needed time but he ended up looking more like a sociopath rather a than broken heart. Please don’t let this guys approval make or break you. Do not let him define who you are, do not feel rejected by him because he’s the one that loses in all of this. I would thank him for the favor and run like hell, you will spend the rest of your life tangled up in nonsense and it’s not worth it, trust me. Run, my friend…run!
all of this is so true, i think men’s minds are easy to understand, is not that we are smarter, but we are much more complicated… once i heard that if you treat men like dogs they will follow you like dogs, it sounds rude but it works.