Comments on: He’s Not Ready For A Serious Relationship, AS IF!

By: The Queen

The Queen — Fri, 09 Jul 2010 18:00:23 +0000

When she said “I’m too fucked up to be in a relationship”, I would have totally believed her because she sounds extremely fucked. Sounds like she had a little bit of the crazies and then wanted to turn it around and make it as if it were about you, “I just don’t want to be in a relationship with you”. I think you should be thankful, oh yes, because she did you a favor. What a nutcase, watch out for us…we’re everywhere

By: Benny

Benny — Thu, 08 Jul 2010 19:06:53 +0000

This is very true about women, too.

I dated a girl who got close to me very, very quickly. She made me feel like a boyfriend within 3 weeks after we first hooked up. I liked her, so I very casually proposed the idea of us being in a relationship (seemed casual to me, anyway). I said, “I could see myself being your boyfriend.” She said, “Does that mean I’m your girlfriend?” I said, “Sure!”

Later on, she talked about how we “went too fast,” and how she doesn’t like “being too associated with another person,” and how she has “too much baggage from being trapped in other relationships.” She cheated on me, begged me to stay, and then broke up with me because she was “too fucked up to be in a relationship.”

Later, she contacted me just to tell me that it wasn’t her, it was just that she didn’t want to be in a relationship with me.

Both guys and girls like to milk other people for all they can get and make excuses for it. Good people are people who don’t feel comfortable in one-sided relationships.

By: Rachel

Rachel — Wed, 02 Jun 2010 05:44:50 +0000

It started as a casual relationship a year ago. It did tell me that he “can’t” get into a serious relationship and that was fine then. Now im just confused about what i really want because yeah the sex is fine, we each have our own thing going on but i have never been in a serious relationship. I really do like him and i feel like we are good friends but if something better comes along meaning a guy that really wants the whole package, i will disappear and give it a go. Its unrealistic to ask the other one to wait for “if they may be a change of relationship status”. Its either you want me or you don’t…simple as that.

By: Manu

Manu — Wed, 26 May 2010 16:16:50 +0000

Queen, my situation is similar. However, in my case my man just got divorced about 9 months ago, and he says he is confused, because he does love me, but he also knows that for a while he cannot have a serious relationship, because his priority now are the kids and his job. He says he doesn’t want to hurt again, and I even came back and forth with my ex since I met him because of his lack of commitment, so he doesn’t trust me much. Anyway, I do love him, I am ready for a serious relationship with him, and he just told me he isn’t. When I asked him “what does your heart tell you?” he answered “my heart is all over the place”. Do I have a chance? Should I wait for him?

By: Lola

Lola — Mon, 17 May 2010 18:58:45 +0000

I agree… what happens is that the longer you wait around and “hang out” with a guy that says hes not ready to commit, the more he begins to lose respect for you. Its hard to be just friends with someone you like and are attracted to, so you usually end up giving in more often then not. I should take my own advice and run for the hills but its unfortunetly very hard when the guy you like keeps calling and wanted to see you. I realized that waiting around for him to be ready to commit is no way to live and eventually it begins to affect you. A clean break it the way to go! Now I just need to be strong enough to so it!!!

By: The Queen

The Queen — Sat, 15 May 2010 05:38:17 +0000

So, what you are saying is “I’m not ready for a relationship right now but let me go out with other girls and see if I think of you and if I don’t then I still do not want a relationship now but if I do think of you then I’ll come back running into your arms”? Yes, I know that people come out of serious relationships and really are not ready to be in any sort of relationship but being on the female side of the situation, the percentage of guys using this phrase as an excuse is greater than the ones who actually mean it. I don’t think you are getting what I am trying to say. When a girl fancies a dude and she’s really into him and he says he’s not really ready for a serious relationship, believe him. Don’t sit around and wait until ‘you’ think he is ready because that day might not ever come. I heart you Matt but I’ve heard this line so many times that when girlfriends tell me ‘he’s’ said it, I can’t help but to roll my eyes in the back of my head. I got eyes in the back of my head, shoo.

By: matt

matt — Wed, 12 May 2010 00:40:24 +0000

Ummm… sorry, but I am going to have disagree with this post. It’s too black & white.

Not to give any girl who’s going through this now any false sense of hope, but stop being so fatalistic, okay?! I genuinely wasn’t ready for a relationship. I was in one for 6 years, from 18 to 23. After being emotionally drained and ending for the last time, I needed a serious break from all of it.

Then I met this new girl through a friend. We hit it off and she became really interested in me fairly quickly. I too was attracted to her and was interested into seeing her. What happened though is that I felt overwhelmed and suffocated by her wanting to see me and hang out with me all the time. “Doesn’t she have other friends?!”

So I called it off.

Well, then I began to miss her and every future date I went on I thought of her. So I reached out to her and explained my story. “I’m just not ready for a serious relationship, but if you can be patient with me, I’d like that and we can see where this goes, yeah?”

She agreed and we hung out as friends for about a year and then bam, I saw her flirting with some guy and that’s when I knew I didn’t want her with anyone else but me. So I told her, look, I am ready to take this to the next level.

sooo… here we are today, 3 years together and I couldn’t be happier.

My advice is this… relationships take real time to grow, sometimes the magic of infatuation isn’t always enough. IF you two are having fun and getting along really well, plus connecting emotionally (meaning, you can understand where each other is coming from), then CHILL out and just have fun . One day he’ll be ready and if you were by his side when that day comes, well then there you go, you’ll score.

If you leave before he’s ready, when he becomes ready, he’ll just find someone else and move on from you. Simple as that.

By: The Queen

The Queen — Wed, 28 Apr 2010 23:19:40 +0000

You know, Mark…you’re right. “learning to love the very most important person in the world”, correct me if I’m wrong but you’re saying that ‘instead of focusing so much on trying to love someone else, we should be focusing on loving ourselves’? I would think that if we put our primary focus on inner love, then possibly, down the road, real love will blossom from that.

I think when we are so set on making someone love us or loving someone until it hurts, most of the time it doesn’t even have anything to do with that particular person: it’s about us. Who taught us that it was okay to beat ourselves all in the name of love? Okay, enough of this- it’s time to go nurse my inner child. lol

By: The Queen

The Queen — Wed, 28 Apr 2010 23:13:24 +0000

When I hear a friend say that a guy has said “I’m not ready for a relationship right now”, it’s basically saying..”No, I don’t want a relationship with you but I am going to milk this titty for all it’s worth”!

By: Dingo

Dingo — Wed, 10 Feb 2010 20:24:47 +0000

Entering a relationship with the “I’ll nurse him back to health mentality” is the kiss of death. It rarely, ever works. And the whole not wanting to hurt someone thing? If red flags hoisted on gigantic stakes aren’t lodging themselves in your brain when you hear this, I don’t know if there’s anything anyone can do but stand back and pick up the pieces when you realize that he’s the dick everyone but you knew he was.