Comments on: Dealing With Your Baby Daddy

By: Nikki

Nikki — Sun, 02 May 2010 00:28:46 +0000

Everything you are saying is so right. I’d like to think I’m a decent individual and I have tried my best when dealing with my baby’s daddy, but girl he never seems to stop create new low’s. He avoids our daughter. They stared each other in the face and he ran away and hide. How do I maintain after that? She is devastated!

By: Brittany

Brittany — Fri, 09 Apr 2010 01:05:53 +0000

ik have a question for you … what about baby daddys gf…. im in a perdicament and my babys daddys gf is psycho she chased him out the house with a knife and talks shit to me all the time about me and our daughter and my baby daddy juss wont leave her and i just cant subject my child to a nut case. I dont want my daughter to grow up with out him but i dont want her life in danger either. What can i do to shake her off his tail?

By: Christine

Christine — Mon, 01 Mar 2010 15:40:22 +0000

I had a baby girl 7 months ago. my baby’s father and I dated for a few years however when he found I was pregnant, he went back to ex girlfriend who hates my living soul. I filed for child support at the begining of August 2009 and he made his first payment at the end of January 2010. He filed an appeal but still has to pay what the case worker said until the judge makes his final determination in a few months. This has been a very hard diccult road for me. I blame myself for getting into this situation but I love my daughter. I don’t want her to be messed up but I do not trust his girlfriend with her. He didn’t even come to see her when she was born. How am I supposed to deal with him and her. I am afraid he will try and get custody of her when the judge slaps him with a higher payment than he has now. He makes over $200,000.00 a year. That is not the only difficult problem. I still have feelings for him and I think he still has feelings for me. How would I be able to follow the advice above?

By: Nina

Nina — Tue, 23 Feb 2010 02:19:25 +0000

I get your overall gist, that it is both healthy and mature to maintain a cordial relationship with the father of your child for the sake of the child. But not every unwed mother’s situation is so cut and dry. For instance, if dealing with a very immature guy who never wanted to accept responsibility in the first place for his hand in creating the child has been uncooperative from the start—it sets the foundation for a very “rocky” and emotionally strained relationship. Of course, the woman usually realizes she must rise above her emotions and be the bigger person—but where is the line drawn between creating a stable environment for the child that includes a “good guy father” and creating a facade of a relationship with someone who doesn’t deserve to be acknowledged in that way. Personally, I think your advice resonates with women who were in long-term, committed and loving relationships that simply didn’t work out after a child was created. Wherein the lines of communication and mutual respect have already been established. Versus, when dealing with women who become pregnant by men who they weren’t in solid relationships with to begin with. Which brings up the question, of why they would allow themselves to become pregnant to begin with. But things happen. I just don’t want to spend the next 18 years of my child’s life focusing on how to create some “fatherly” image from their father if he never stepped up to the plate. I would much rather focus my energies on being a great mother and hopefully, surrounding them around role models and people who genuinely wanted and loved them from the start.

By: ladyT

ladyT — Thu, 21 Jan 2010 04:27:11 +0000

okay Quenn,
I have honestly tried to be nice to my babydaddy.my child is one years old and my babydaddy has had 2 other kids..by 2 other woman in the past 2 years and it is nothin but drama.. these woman live in 2 diffeent states and since this has hapened our relationships as parents has went down the drain. He has not seen my son since november 2009.. i mean i really dont know what to do anymore. He doesnt pay child support and i feel its pointless to take him to cour for child support b/c he works under the tavle for everyone..sometimes i feel my child is better off without him and his 2 other babymommas. i have never experienced this in my life i feel like i should be on jerry springer or something..i havent even told my family about this situation.HELP!

By: The Queen

The Queen — Tue, 12 Jan 2010 13:30:30 +0000

I know what will end this real quick like, do you have an agreement through the courts? When the pompous ass and I broke up, we both got our own attorney’s (of course, we could have agreed outside of court but since he went behind the back- I had no choice but to get my own) and we had a ‘contract/agreement’ written up. Is he court ordered to pay child support? Personally, he needs to man up and grow a nice pair of balls. In our agreement, we are to communicate about our son. In our stipulated judgement, it is documented and signed by both of us that as far as the “General Welfare Of Child” there will be no negative comments regarding the other spouse in front of the child, no discussion of legal proceedings in front of child, prompt attendance & transportation, we are to facilitate communication, we are to provide all contact information if any contact information changes, we are to create a positive environment for the child, we can not relocate our son. There is also something outlined regarding overnight visitors, no one is allowed to live with a ‘partner’ unless they are married. The list goes on. This is something I suggest doing, it will nip all that stupid shit in the bud. There will be many girlfriends come and go but you are going to be there for several years so he needs to get comfortable about communicating with you and needs to stop allowing some outsider to dictate how he uses his balls. It doesn’t matter how nice you are to her, she is jealous so she will respond like it. No matter how nice you are to her, I assume that she will think your intent is not genuine. See what you can do about getting a stipulated judgment then take that shit to trial. <———–okay, don't take it to trial but meet in the middle with the agreement and he'll have no choice but to stick to it.

By: Lindsay

Lindsay — Mon, 11 Jan 2010 20:52:27 +0000

So what do you do if the “baby daddys” girlfriend is a big insecure, manipulative, pain in the ass? what do you do if she gets in the way of your and his parenting? here’s my issue: he has my daughter on the weekends, shes almost 2. he wont answer the phone if the girlfriends around because she wont allow it. she says it makes her feel uncomfortable. I’m a good person. Level-headed. I’m no the statistic of a jealous baby mama. What do i do? she makes my life hell.

By: TinaT

TinaT — Sat, 05 Dec 2009 06:28:55 +0000

One of my dearest friends has such a douchebag of a baby daddy, I’ve never liked that word, however, in his case I’ll make more than an exception.
Talk about a loser!
Long story short, their not together, he broke up with her when she was 8mths pregnant, got someone else pregnant, his baby was born Jan/07, got married Jan/08,had a baby April/08, *go figure*.
I tell you, some men make me consider lesbianism.

By: Bridget

Bridget — Sat, 24 Oct 2009 02:14:02 +0000

So glad I came across your blog. I will be giving birth to my first child in early Dec and my child’s father and I are no longer together. Keep ‘em coming. I can use all the advice I can get.

~Bridget

By: Brooke Jones

Brooke Jones — Sun, 26 Jul 2009 03:38:29 +0000

I JUST READ YOUR ARTICLE AND I WANTED TO LET YOU KNOW YOU DID A FABULOUS JOB AND DR.PHIL HIMSELF WOULD BE IMPRESSED, I KNOW IT! YOU HAD A LOT OF GREAT ADVICE AND I’M VERY GLAD I CAME ACROSS YOUR PAGE. MORE POWER TO YA GIRL! AND KEEP DION YA THING! <3 MUCH LOVE <3
,BROOKE