You know, (Do you really?) I usually write about issues that are going on in my own life. YES, I HAVE ISSUES, want some? I’d be more than happy to share. Trust me, there’s enough to go around. Man, I would feel like Oprah but instead of “YOU GET A CAR, YOU GET A CAR” it would be “YOU GET AN ISSUE, YOU GET AN ISSUE” (and the crowd goes wild). Tonight, I was doing my usual thinking, you know pondering, in deep thought, ooh the depth. I was thinking of the relationshipI am in now. Strange things have been going down on the home front. Just recently, my SO seems to have changed somewhat. He doesn’t text as much as he used to, he doesn’t act like he wants to be around me, he’s not affectionate, he doesn’t laugh as much, he doesn’t flirt with me anymore…why does all of this sound so familiar? Holy shit, I feel like I am married. I’m not in Kansas anymore ToTo, the eagle has landed and the honeymoon is over, or is it?
I know what you are thinking. You’ve read over all the things he’s doing and not doing and you are thinking, yes I know you are thinking that there’s another woman. Cheating. Pure Adultery, scarlet letter style. Who knows. Well, for now, I will let him keep his balls until I find out otherwise. I must admit that he is not 100% to blame. I have jumped into work head first and for a moment there, I forgot he existed. I know, shame on me. Well, now I feel as if I don’t exist to him. I’ve come back around but I’m not sure if he will ever come back. He says he’s just got a lot on his mind. Shit, he has no idea the junk that marinates in my brain. I think non-stop. I am always thinking, I think. I feel shut out. I feel unloved. I feel unpretty. Shame on me for allowing it. I totally accepted the fact that he couldn’t compliment me, that his love language wasn’t “words of affirmation”. I totally accepted that he didn’t want to have sex all the time, that his love language wasn’t “let’s f*ck 24/7″. I totally accepted that he wasn’t that affectionate, that his love language wasn’t physical touch. Now, what I can’t accept is feeling like neither is benefiting from the relationship. I’m not even sure how he benefits from being with me. The whole damn thing has got me shut down which makes me shut up. If anyone can ever get me to shut up, something is wrong, dammit.
I’ve mentioned this to him several times but I’m starting to feel like one of those girls. You know, “those” girls. The whiny chics that always want to know what a guy is feeling. Look, I don’t give a shit what any guy is feeling but when you just stop talking to me and borderline avoiding me, after awhile… I kinda start to notice and damn me for taking it personal. Here’s the thing that everyone needs to understand. You know, how in the beginning of a relationship…it’s all butterflies and semen? You are so head over heels for one another and you try to impress the hell out of each other? You go the extra mile for that person, you engage in good conversation, you laugh, you giggle, you tinkle a little and everything is freaking dandy.Then, *ribbet* it stops. You quit putting on your best face, you quit shaving underneath your arms, you look like a fragglerock down “there”, the relationship begins to become routine and before you know it, you’re bored as hell. Cupcake, anyone?
Soon enough, the relationship is on auto-pilot. It’s the same damn thing every single day. Same song, second verse. You go back to being selfish and you put your partner on the back burner and go on with your life. This is the problem, people. A relationship on auto-pilot, it doesn’t get any more boring than this. Listen to me, you never EVER never ever stop trying in a relationship. Every day when you wake up, you should think, “What can I do today to make my partner happy?”. This is my thinking, I think. You get out what you put into your relationship. If you don’t do shit with or to your relationship, you’re relationship will be boring shit.If you strive to make the other person happy, usually they will return the favor and things will be more enjoyable. But, if you are the only one trying to make the other one happy and it’s not returned, you need to think about finding another one. I’ve spent too many years focusing on making the other person happy with no return policy, I was completely miserable. Again, a relationship takes continuous effort on both sides.
The honeymoon stage doesn’t have to end. It’s okay to be comfortable in a relationship but you should never feel comfortable enough that you don’t feel as if you have to make some sort of effort. It doesn’t have to be a holiday to send flowers. It doesn’t have to be Valentines Day to send a card. It doesn’t have to be a special event to go out. It doesn’t have to be their birthday to cook dinner. It doesn’t have to be your anniversary to have sex. In a relationship, you should consider everyday a holiday, everyday a special day, everyday another day that you get to spend with the person you love. I want to be loved. I want to be touched. I would like to hear I’m ‘cool’, ‘pretty’, ‘groovy’, ‘irresistiable’, ‘funny’ sometimes. I’m not asking for anyone to compliment me non-stop, just once a month would do it for me. You know, just to let me know that we are still in this together, yes..the validation.
So, these are my words of wisdom tonight, my friends. I am hoping that I can apply it to my own relationship, and can only hope it’s reciprocated. I want my relationship to have passion and meaning. I don’t want to ever have a relationship that gets boring. Boring is what makes people stray, boring seems to make people cheat, boring sometimes breaks people up, boring is just boring as hell. I won’t ramble any longer. Anyway, I’ve got to go…I’ve got a date with dildo and donuts. Two for non-smoking please.
Comments and opinions are always appreciated.
